About Office Wellness

Numerous medical conditions affect office workers. Long periods of sitting leads to poor posture, staring at a monitor for hours on end causes eye strain, and repetitive commuting causes Carpool Tunnel Syndrome. Germs, poor air quality, stress, and work all contribute to office illness on a scale never before seen in human history.

Something funny had to be done.

In The Official Guide to Office Wellness, the job of the models was to pose in bizarre positions on, over, and in their desks and cubicles. Photographed in offices, and inspired by animals, these models showed that laughter and an awkward pose can go a long way towards improving office wellness. As they posed to be photographed, the complaints were frequent and familiar:

"That hurts."


You can buy The Official Guide to Office Wellness as an eBook from the retailers below. If your favorite vendor is not listed, they may carry it as well.

Barnes & Noble

About the Author

Bill lives in northwestern Pennsylvania with his family and many pets. He is an Edinboro University of Pennsylvania alumnus, with a Bachelor's degree in Russian Language and additional certifications in computer programming and operations.

William R. Vitanyi

In 2009 he proposed and established the Impact writing contest, in which students at Edinboro University of Pennsylvania. submitted paragraphs of 200 words or less on a topic of their choice. The authors of the paragraphs with the greatest impact won. Over 40 students participated.

He has written several books, numerous articles at Hubpages.com (see under Articles on the main page), and founded the Build-A-Book project.

Bill became aware of the existence of office maladies shortly after his tenth year as a cubicle worker. By then it was too late to do anything but make fun of the situation.

Unfortunately Office Cynicism is not covered in The Official Guide to Office Wellness. Perhaps in volume II.

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To contact the author send email to: Contact William R. Vitanyi


Gossip Precision Deficiency
Dogfish Shark Bridge Position
Squalus acanthias

The Official Guide To Office Wellness

Gossip is the lifeblood of corporate communication, but like any specialized skill it should only be practiced by trained professionals. Without proper instruction, the novice may be inclined to disseminate rumors that lack therapeutic precision. The Dogfish Shark Bridge Position suppresses the body's tendency towards indiscriminate news sharing, and at the same time strengthens gossip fundamentals. This technique is perfect for new employees, or as a refresher for old timers.

Acute Indifference
Beach-Dune Tiger Beetle Ridge Position
Cicindela hirticollis

The Official Guide To Office Wellness

The irony of indifference is that once you have it, you lose all interest in getting rid of it. One of the few techniques that can help is the Beach-Dune Tiger Beetle Ridge Position. As you feel interest wane, scale your work area and assume a prone position near the sharp edge of the desktop. Lift your feet, and extend one arm into space. Try to fully employ this position before the zenith of your malaise. The excruciating pain that you will endure is no picnic, but it should easily take the place of your disinterest.

How To Be Funny

How To Be Funny

Humor is not simply something that is funny. There must be an element of intent, because humor is something that is tried, and either succeeds or fails. If it succeeds, then it is funny, it provokes a reaction, and it is indeed humor. If it fails, it's just sad.

Read the full article here.

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